Society

DOLPHINS are vicious, brutal thugs spoiling for a fight with humanity, it has emerged.

COMPLETE nobody Roy Hobbs is demanding tough action be taken against Greece.

ATTRACTIVE people thoroughly enjoy not having to be funny or interesting, they have revealed.

THE controversial 'beach body' poster is no more tawdry, exploitative and depressing than the rest of advertising, it has been confirmed.

THE Guardian has created a French dictionary that contains only feminine words.

NO-ONE wants to be the first to remove the Pride rainbow from their Facebook picture, it has emerged.

AN increasing number of office workers who eat their sandwiches in the park are not returning to work or society.

ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.

54-YEAR-OLD plumber Tom Booker has grudgingly complimented the physiques of Gay Pride participants.

EVERY guest bedroom in human history has had an unsettling picture hanging on the wall, it has been confirmed.