Society

Tossers ‘curating’ everything

AN arts twat claims to have curated a cup of tea by adding milk and sugar.

Annoying women claim to look alike

TWO close female friends claim to look almost identical despite this obviously not being the case.

Employers using psychometric tests to separate liars from morons

COMPANIES are using psychometric tests to distinguish between liars and people who are too stupid to lie.

Man with mortgage and kid unable to throw out rave tapes

38-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker has decided at keep his rave ‘tape packs’ despite being an adult with responsibilities.

Everyone in London doing medical testing

ALL Londoners are taking part in paid medical trials so that they can afford to continue living there, it has been confirmed.

Dawkins to turn his hand to vintage motorbikes

RICHARD Dawkins has ditched his atheism campaign in favour of restoring Norton motorbikes.

Woman gives birth to media wanker baby

A WOMAN has given birth to a baby obsessed with social media engagement and brand awareness.

DVLA launches Thinking About Buying A Car Tax

ANYONE considering getting a car now has to pay the DVLA from the moment it crosses their mind.

Britain's last volunteer died in 1976

NOBODY in the UK has volunteered to do something since the mid 1970s, it has emerged.

Unlikeable colleague wants to come to the pub

WORKERS have been left in turmoil after the least pleasant person in their office expressed interest in joining them for a drink.