Society

STUPID, privately educated people are being sidelined from low wage jobs, it has emerged.

TRAIN announcements such as ‘we offer a dedicated at seat trolley service’ are coded messages designed to arouse or unsettle passengers.

MINERS involved in the Battle of Orgreave are to be charged with not letting it go.

A MAN who used a hammock has described it as the least relaxing experience of his life.

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

LOVING working-class grandparents are to be reassigned to cold, ambitious middle-class families in dire need of them.

NOBODY is any the wiser as to why 11-year-old Wayne Hayes is a little shit after a parents’ evening at his school.

A MAN claiming to appreciate a wide range of music has been unable to name a specific act or album that he likes.

GANGS wearing the colours of Apple Music, Deezer, Spotify and Tidal are battling for supremacy on the streets.

E-CIGARETTES have been banned in Wales as part of a crackdown on things that compromise masculinity.