Society

PARENTS across Britain are enjoying a traditional Sunday giving six-figure sums to their offspring.

A WOMAN has admitted her ‘guilty pleasure’ is not Hollyoaks, Curly Wurlys or the music of Neil Diamond but masturbation.

THE trend for original baby names has led parents to use random sequences of letters like Lllrdwnnq.

BRITONS are to painstakingly peruse the Government’s 14-page pro-EU booklet before doing the same with their latest letter from Capital One.

A WOMAN believes her pretend Yorkshire accent amuses her Northern workmates, it has emerged.

A LARGE hard-wearing IKEA bag could comfortably house a family of four, a government think tank has claimed.

A MAN who claims to give more than his actual capacity is actually only giving about a third of it.

EVERYONE has returned to work after learning that the system is a giant conspiracy designed to ruin their lives.

SOME neighbours have fallen out because they are petty, hostile morons who are just as bad as each other.

A MAN spends a lot of time on the internet describing improbable situations he could resolve aggressively, it has emerged.