Society

A CYCLIST who failed to ride right through a red light has been left wondering if he is any kind of a man.

A WOMAN has looked at her smartphone 63 times in a day without finding the cure for her inner emptiness.

A MAN believes he is going to get his deposit back from a private landlord.

A COCKTAIL barman cares too deeply about which drink his customers order, it has emerged.

49-YEAR-OLD Wayne Hayes has imagined a situation where Daisy Lowe agrees to go out with him.

A WOMAN has successfully completed the week without giving a toss about the Brangelina split or the cake show.

A 45-YEAR-OLD old man is deeply committed to saying he is a socialist.

A BREXIT voter will not be happy even if leaving Europe works out, because of her bad personality.

TATTOOS may stop you getting a job if they are dated, unimaginative or simply shit, it has emerged. 

WAYNE Hayes had his best first date ever after completely concealing the majority of his personality, he confirmed.