Society

UMBRELLA users have announced that everyone else must get out of their way.

A NORTHERNER is convinced that everyone from Southern England is upper class.

BRITAIN’S getting-up time has been altered to prevent the workforce from becoming too happy.

A MOTHER has had her email account hacked for the 14th time this month.

THE only person in Britain who still does Lent is in the midst of a savage chocolate frenzy.

EASTER takes place a week before the end of March because Jesus was crucified very early this year 1,986 years ago.

A COUPLE are inexplicably still on bad terms despite having just had a massive row.

EVERYONE has been urged to just stop and think about what they are going to say.

A WOMAN has been sacked for failing to embrace coffee culture.

THE only man who still believed that government initiatives would turn Barnsley into Europe’s answer to Palo Alto has died.