Society

A FATHER-OF-TWO has told his children that instead of a novelty tie or beer mug he would prefer the cash equivalent this Father’s Day.

A REGULAR commuter to central London has outraged her partner by planning to return to the city tomorrow for leisure purposes.

A WOMAN has expressed dismay after the news that she is having her fourth baby only got 36 ‘likes' on Facebook.

MUM Mary Fisher never admits to being out of the house on social media in case she gets burgled.

A MAN uses the meaningless word ‘bosh’ after doing even the simplest thing, it has emerged.

FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.

A MOTHER has finally got around to finishing reading her now grown-up daughter’s teenage diaries.

THE driver of a mobile library is playing the chimes of an ice-cream van on his rounds as the perfect way to upset children, he has confirmed.

A WOMAN who dreamed that her partner was having an affair with her best friend has remained absolutely furious about it for the whole day.

A MAN has expressed joy at finally being old enough to go for a pint alone and not have anyone question him about it.