A WOMAN living her life as a proud, independent feminist who makes her own decisions and does her own DIY would prefer not to, she has confirmed.
36-year-old Francesca Johnson has climbed the corporate ladder, pays her bills, can change a tyre and would love to have someone to help her out with all that boring bullshit.
She said: “I live a lifestyle the Suffragettes would have murdered for, but only because today’s men are f**kboys who leave dates claiming exhaustion as early as 6pm.
“As an advocate for female empowerment I can state that society is biased again single women, most notably me, and I would rather never have learned the difference between a Phillips and flathead screwdriver.
“I live alone, I sleep alone – having the whole bed to yourself means there’s no one to hear you cry – and I holiday alone. The alternative is having colleagues say ‘With your mother?’ in a tone normally used to ask someone if they’ve gone back to murdering hitchhikers.
“And yes, there are many nights out with the girls that are thrilling and emancipatory, until all the boyfriends and husbands arrive to pick them up and I have another regrettable one-night stand.
“I am a strong, confident, independent woman who does not need a guy. But I hope Darryl texts back.”
