THE prime minister is eagerly awaiting opinion polls that will reveal whether Britain really is as cretinous as he hopes. 

Following the passing of a law ruling that Rwanda is safe, which does not make it actually safe, Rishi Sunak is nervously waiting to see if his gamble on the UK being a nation of easily-fooled racist morons has paid off.

He said: “Here we go. Fingers crossed the drooling subhumans fall for the whole ‘vanishing immigrants’ trick.

“Strictly speaking it’s Boris’s policy, dreamed up after we all got our Partygate fines because he fancied a positive headline or two, but estimating the unintelligence of the British public was always his strength. We just need it to work one last time.

“The flights leave in July, like your cattle-truck economy-class GreggsAir flights to Magaluf! It’s definitely going to happen! The deterrent will work and they’ll stop risking death!

“Come on, Britain. Don’t let me down. Be stupid.”