DARE to criticise youth culture and you’ll immediately be accused of turning into your dad. But what if some aspects have genuinely got worse? Like these…
Porn has lost its mystique
Porn was once an adventure to snaffle the Kay’s catalogue without your mum noticing, or a rare treat thanks to horror of buying it at the newsagent’s. Pity today’s youngsters who can gorge themselves on extreme porn 24/7 and probably find actual sex boring as a result.
Playing music out loud in public
Nothing to do with your age. Someone is either playing it for the attention, or an unwilling listener. Background noise and interruptions make it hard to enjoy anyway, and doesn’t listening to it on the bus to affluent Kingston upon Thames remind you you’re a suburban teenager and not a gangster?
The slang is incomprehensible
Calling everything ‘ace’ wasn’t a high point for the English language. But now there’s an overload of obscure, ephemeral street slang. If you’re using terms like ‘bando’ or ‘chinging’ you may as well be one of those twins who invent their own impenetrable language. But without the twin.
The music charts are bollocks now
Today’s charts are derived from streaming and questionable algorithms, leading to abominations like Ladbaby’s sausage roll song or Ed Sheeran having seven crap singles at the top of the charts simultaneously. Plus the nation is no longer united by Top of the Pops, although bringing it back is a big ask now.
The TV isn’t f**king weird anymore
TV aimed at youngsters used to be deeply strange and/or f**king terrifying. In years to come, ex-young people will just agree Shaun the Sheep was good, instead of discussing the mental scars left by Raggety from Rupert the Bear.
Sexting
Sending unsolicited sexual images is apparently popular with teenage boys. It may be their idea of a laugh, or their hormone-addled brains believe a girl will see a picture of a bukkake party and somehow conclude ‘Cool! I’d better go out with Jaycen right away!’
Cyberbullying
Definitely a retrograde step. Now you can bitchily pile on to a classmate until their self-esteem is utterly crushed. It makes your childhood tormentor Gavin look like a chivalrous knight of the playground, who offered you a fair and reasonable chance to avoid a beating by repeating ‘I am a homo’.
