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Gatwick drone chaos 'perhaps a glimpse of no-deal Brexit' claim people not in denial

THE chaos at Gatwick airport may be some kind of forewarning, according to people who reckon the looming no-deal Brexit will not be ‘a doddle’.

Millions of Britons said the ease with which the UK’s second largest airport was completely fucked by some arsehole was an allegory so massive it may as well be a planet.

Tom Logan, from Hatfield, said: “I would not be surprised if the drone is operated by a militant remainer – or actually Jean-Claude Juncker – in order to show us just how fucked things are going to get.

“If we crash out it will be as if every airport in the country – and loads of other things too – are being dicked about with by some drone-operating japester.

Logan added: “It’s like we’re experiencing a form time travel. It’s actually quite exciting.”

Man annoyed he still can't drink in the morning yet

A MAN is quietly annoyed that he still cannot start drinking in the morning for at least a few more days.

Wayne Hayes of Stevenage confirmed he was itching to be able to start his day with tea, toast and a large glass of brandy the moment it becomes slightly socially acceptable.

Hayes said: “I just need to hang on till Saturday then it’s morally fine to drink in the morning. It won’t damage my liver either, because it’s Christmas.

“It’s great. You wake up, have a shower, pour yourself a large vodka Martini and watch repeats of Frasier until the shit TV starts a bit later. And because you’re half cut it doesn’t seem as unbelievably shit as it usually does.

“My theory is that Cash in the Attic is only still on TV because regular alcoholics have been too drunk to notice it’s incredibly boring.

“Then you can have a snooze at lunchtime for a couple of hours before a healthy yet leisurely stroll to the pub. It’s important not to spoil Christmas by trying to cram too much in.

“It really is the season to be jolly. And unable to walk or see.”

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