Science & Technology

THE fundamental wrongness of women has been established beyond doubt.

ARCHAEOLOGISTS working in the Amazon basin have found the remains of a crude car made from dinosaur bones, with stone cylinders for wheels.

THE cancer which claimed Christopher Hitchens was either random or stupid, it has been confirmed.

THE particle named after God last night stressed it was not religious in any way.

SCIENTISTS are 100% more likely to state the obvious while drunk, it has emerged.

PLANS to clone a woolly mammoth have been dismissed as incredibly stupid and shit.

AS self-driving vehicles become a reality, their creator has revealed he was inspired by the notion of being able to masturbate while travelling on a busy road.

THE 'New Earth' has a temperate climate, liquid water and is probably teeming with unbearable arseholes, scientists have claimed.

A STICK picked up on a cycle path near Stoke may be the finest ever found, it has been claimed.

NASA'S redesigned Mars rover is the new status symbol for middle class Britain.