Science & Technology

PEOPLE who own cutting-edge smartphones remain inexplicably pathetic, it has emerged.

PEOPLE with the browser Internet Explorer were last night told they were using it to 'explore' the 'internet'.

INTERNET users will be forced to reveal details of their pathetic lives in a new drive to stop them being ghastly.

NEPTUNE, eighth planet in the solar system, spent its first birthday orbiting the sun 'just like any other day’.

ANYONE who tries to leave Facebook will be shot, Mark Zuckerberg said last night.

ADVANCES in food technology mean that pre-packed sandwiches can now retain their disappointingness for up to 14 days.

YOUR computers intends to strangle you while you sleep, experts have warned.

GENETICISTS have created a sheep that produces kebab meat, it emerged last night.

A NEW repellent designed to deter mosquitoes has given the insects an insatiable hunger for Geordies.

PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has calculated that heaven does not exist.