Science & Technology

FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.

THE comet lander 'Philae' lost contact with Earth because it was too busy looking at lady comet landers.

THERE is a striking transformation from ‘clever’ to ‘gorgeous’ whenever lady scientists take off their glasses, it has been claimed.

FELINE dominance of the internet will be handed over to goats later today.

SCIENCE is basically evil despite things like cancer treatment, according to most middle class people.

BIRDS love to drink crude oil with their supper, according to a Science Museum display sponsored by Shell.

ARCHAEOLOGISTS have unearthed bones of man’s first annoying relatives, who were always turning up at his cave on weekends.

MAGIC mushrooms could help people to hallucinate they are on the property ladder.

YOUR Henry Hoover comes into your bedroom at night and watches you from inches away, researchers have discovered.

A SELF-SERVICE till is only working in a supermarket while it writes a film script or gets its band off the ground.