A PORN site has confirmed that iPhone owners are deeply submissive masochists who love pain, exactly as you would expect.
Pornhub revealed that iPhone users love videos in which people are repeatedly abused by dominant, sneering sadists who have nothing but contempt for their mindless servility.
iPhone 5S owner Denys Hatton said: “No sooner had I updated to iOS9, which took six hours and a reset to factory settings, than I had an insatiable desire to watch a man being whipped and called a despicable worm by a partner he irrationally worships.
“I didn’t actually see it because the update has made the phone so painfully slow, which I found enormously arousing.”
Dominatrix Mary Fisher said: “I don’t bother with whips and chains anymore.
“Instead we do a roleplay where I make the client wait for 90 minutes at the Genius Bar, then tell them the only way to get their photos back from the iCloud is to pay £600 for an upgrade.
“Then they burst into tears and beg for more.”
