Science & Technology

SCIENTISTS will never be able to explain why all beards go slightly ginger when they reach a certain length, it has been confirmed.

EVERYTHING you need to know about a thing you don’t need to know about.

MEN’S penises are either porn-style monstrosities or minuscule sources of amusement, it has emerged.

SOME people see this dress as white and gold because they have hidden racist opinions, it has emerged.

GHOSTS have complained that too many aspects of their existence do not make sense.

THE era of the driverless car means people will have to find other ways of venting their selfish, red-faced fury, it has been claimed.

A FLAWLESS cup of tea has made further tea-making redundant, it has been claimed.

THE abandoned, broken ruins of 1990s internet sites are popular destinations for tourists unable to believe that people once lived there.

NOBODY knows what the flavour of Irn-Bru is supposed to be, it has emerged.

THE last two people who listen to the music of Kula Shaker are undergoing enforced breeding to prevent the extinction of their kind.