Science & Technology

A GENETICIST who owns a copy of The Sims has been accused of attempting to control life itself.

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that you are not ready for a Easter egg-sized Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

AN IPAD has become the legal guardian of two children after their parents could no longer be arsed.

PEOPLE will be able to say ‘F**k That' to event invitations from next week, Facebook has confirmed.

PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has warned that the greatest danger facing humanity today is Brian Cox.

ASTRONAUT Tim Peake's friend has struggled to match his weekend news during a call to the International Space Station.

A SELF-STYLED ’nerd’ is unable to fix computers, he has confirmed.

RESEARCHERS have discovered the pure atomic essence of stupidity.

MARK Zuckerberg has unveiled a robot servant that will continually reassure him he is not obscenely rich.

HUMANS who do not believe in a god still have some morals, it has emerged.