Relationships

Five dumb but fair dating dealbreakers

There are good and bad reasons not to pursue a relationship, and sometimes the bad reasons mean more in the long run. Here’s five of them.

That you never fake orgasms, and other things your boyfriend erroneously believes

IT’S a shame, all those things your boyfriend’s so convinced of that he’s never asked you about. Here are his five illusions.

Woman disappointed to have sex dream about her partner

A WOMAN who had a deeply erotic and exciting dream was disappointed that the other person in it was her boyfriend.

How to do a 'date' if you’ve never been on one

Going on a 'date' is worrying if all your previous relationships have been based on drunken snogs. Here are the basics of what to do.

Who's the most annoying in your relationship? A fun game for couples

DOES your partner frequently drive you up the f**king wall and vice versa? Find out which of you is the most most annoying by totting up your scores from our list before you split up.

'I'm just going to freshen up' says date, leaving to take massive shit

A WOMAN on a first date excused herself by implying she was going to fix her make-up, when actually she was heading for a dump.

'Okay, wow': Five stock phrases for boyfriends who aren't really listening

IS YOUR girlfriend banging on about something again? Were you thinking about football, but love her enough to pretend you were listening?

Opposites attract, and other lies mismatched couples tell each other

CONSTANTLY clashing with your partner? Convince yourself that your differences are totally healthy with these lies:

Yes I breached social distancing guidance, says man caught balls-deep in wife's sister

A MAN caught fully giving it from behind to his sister-in-law has apologised for breaching social distancing guidelines before they are lifted on July 19.

'A bit hungover are we?' and other things not to ask your girlfriend

ARE you unsure how to keep on the right side of your girlfriend? Here is a guide to the questions you should avoid if you ever want to see her again.