Relationships

SUCCESSFULLY appearing attractive is impossible by just being yourself. Pretending to like these things will make you more shaggable.

A WOMAN cannot be bothered to sit in the cold outside a restaurant now that restrictions have lifted if the only person eating with her is her boyfriend.

IN a long-term relationship, trying not to think about how little sex you're having? Unfortunately, you're giving yourself away online.

YES, they are technically humans who are small, but it’s still a bloody stupid and twee thing to call kids. Here are the most annoying nicknames for children used by parents.

ALL'S fair in love and war, right? No. Because if you fancy the wrong person you are a terrible individual or even a pervert. So under no circumstances fancy these people.

WANT to skive off household chores? Do these just-about-tolerable ones to show you’re doing your bit while your partner gets stuck with properly shit tasks.

LOVE TV, but hate the smug couples you’re supposed to root for? Here are five awful pairings to inspire you never to find love.

NO calls to hang out this week? Don’t panic, your friends don’t hate you, you might be just outside everyone’s rule of six by being seventh on the list.

A married couple are having two entirely separate conversations without realising it.

ARE you a gorgeous woman who dreams of nabbing your very own Danny DeVito?