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Woman trying to be kinky inserts finger in boyfriend's ear

A WOMAN has inserted her finger in her boyfriend’s ear in a bid to be kinky.

Nikki Hollis surprised boyfriend Nathan Muir after getting sex advice from a friend who had failed to specify which hole.

Hollis said: “I think Nathan quite liked it. I tried to be spontaneous and I think it worked. Who would expect a finger jammed right in their ear?

“He hasn’t mentioned it though. I think it’s because he’s always been self-conscious about his ears.”

Muir said: “It was unexpected. I know we’re both new to this but she could have checked with me beforehand. I would have said yes. Probably.

“She did say it was supposed to make my orgasm more intense. I think she may have got that bit wrong.”

Middle class family on day trip to estate agent's window

A MIDDLE  class family has decided to treat itself by going on a day trip to an estate agent’s window.

The Muir family are combining their two interests of going on an educational holiday and looking at potential properties.

Sarah Muir said: “We thought we’d exhausted all the fascinating day trip locations, like the National Slate Museum and the Emma Bridgewater factory seconds giftshop.

“But then we realised that an estate agent’s window is packed with just as much educational value as a National Trust property. Also my membership card has expired.

“Once we’ve finished cooing over the array of reasonably priced detached properties in the window and eaten our organic packed lunches in the doorway, we might head inside and arrange a viewing for fun.

“They’ll probably ask us all sorts of strange questions like ‘how much do you earn’ and ‘do you have a guarantor’. It’ll be like living in the Middle Ages or Plymouth.”

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