BURSTING into laughter and saying ‘No f**king chance’ is the normal response to the reverse cowgirl sexual position, according to women.
Although men who watch a lot of porn think it is the pinnacle of female sexual desire, women have assured them they are wrong, and also stupid idiots.
Lucy Phipps, 35, said: “Are you kidding me? To start with there’s the basic biological fact that my vagina doesn’t face that way. It’s just not comfortable, whatever Pornhub would have you believe.
“And then there’s the difficulty of having to bounce enthusiastically, which is absolute murder on the knees. I’m getting on and I’d rather save my cartilage for walking up a hill to look at a nice view when I’m holiday.
“It’s also a horribly unsexy position to manoeuvre into. Can you think of anything more awkward than arranging yourself over a man like a crab and then trying to impale yourself on his penis? It’s never going to be elegant.
“So all in all, it’s bullshit invented by men for men. They should try having a dick shoved up their passage from a difficult angle and see how they like it.”
Man Wayne Hayes said: “I’m still going to ask. Generations of cowgirls can’t be wrong.”
