Media

A 24-YEAR-OLD estate agent has announced that he will be spending tonight reading this month’s GQ magazine for the third time.

SCHEMING childless women have had their home-wrecking plans ruined by The Daily Mail.

BRITAIN’S offices have ground to a halt after workers discovered a live video feed of a discarded crisp packet lying in a street.

A 78-YEAR-OLD Telegraph reader has demanded it prints a story about how a gallery cleaner swept up some modern art because it looked like rubbish.

THE Christmas Radio Times has been bought and its cover immediately removed in accordance with Yuletide tradition.

THE Daily Mail has launched an appeal to restore flood-damaged houses to their former market value.

ISIS has paid the Daily Mail and the Sun five figure sums for ‘strategic public relations and reputation management’.

THE Daily Mail in an alternate universe where Hitler won the war is absolutely identical, it has been confirmed.

THE BBC is facing a storm of criticism for employing an overnight cleaner who did not wear a poppy.

THE Daily Mail has taken delivery of an elaborate chocolate mosque accompanied by an angry note.