Media

THE Guardian has published a guide to cooking quick, but delicious crystal meth for a casual Friday night get-together.

THE BBC is to intensify its war on Scotland by giving Europe’s unhealthiest population more television to watch.

EVEN funny stories about a fat man eating a pie now end in the ruination of everyone involved, it has been confirmed.

BRITAIN’S judiciary is threatening the ancient constitutional position of tabloid newspapers, experts have claimed.

A POPULAR Tinder user has shared advice on being a predictable bellend who just says things other people want to hear.

A MAN is worried that everyone in his social circle has had an article in the Guardian except him.

THE new editor of British Vogue intends to make it the number one magazine for air rifles and carp fishing, he has announced.

IF FAKE news is going to be spread anyway it should be about lovely, happy, fluffy things, researchers have proved.

A CHRISTMAS tree in the Daily Mail newsroom has died within 45 minutes of its arrival.

THE Daily Mail has published the names of all 3,363 Sleaford Labour voters as part of its ongoing catalogue of enemies of the people.