Media

COUPLES get their kicks from ogling period homes with plenty of character rather than hot single people, it has emerged.

INTERNET users want to know who exactly the fuck is buying these titanium spinning tops that are advertised on every website.

THERESA May has ruled out a TV debate because the voters she wants to reach have the wireless on with their cup of tea.

THE prime minister remains secure in her belief that Britain’s frothing, maniacal tabloids will always be on her side, no matter what.

THE editor of the Guardian has attended a Guardian-run 'masterclass' explaining how to make money from journalism.

DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre insisted his ‘legs-it’ front page was ‘a bit of fun’ in a voice that made everyone think of a derelict Victorian hospital.

A MAN has been forced to 'like' an unfunny comment left on his Facebook page out of years of friendship.

THE DAILY Mail is scurrying around like a spider trying to get up society's trouser leg, it has emerged.

THE London Evening Standard will feature an indispensable weekly guide to crazy parties where all kinds of stuff goes on.

THE UK media are actively seeking  a new braying, right wing idiot to feature over-prominently in news and current affairs programmes.