Lifestyle

THIS summer, it’s all about showing off your body in a way that brings to mind well-thumbed medical textbooks. Jump on these trends.

B&Q has announced that men aged 45 and over can make their birthdays truly special by holding them in their favourite aisle of the store.

YOU’RE moving back home but unlike 99.99 per cent of losers, you’re actually hyped about it. Here’s how you justify that shit.

GOING on holiday abroad again at last? Prepare yourself to endure five hours stuck next to one of these utter arseholes.

THINK cats and dogs are too pedestrian to match your fascinating personality? Get one of these animals to demonstrate just how insufferable you are.

PAYING £100 to fill up your car should be a wake-up call to politicians. You’re alienating key voters like me who don’t give a shit about hardship so long as it happens to other people.

BREXIT is such an endless black hole of misery that it has even managed to make MDMA less fun, research has revealed.

YOU swore you’d never do it, but there comes a point in life where moving back to the shithole where you spent your childhood seems a good idea. Here’s why you should resist.

NORMAL people stuff official-looking envelopes out of sight, but some freaks immediately face the contents of their post. Take our quiz to find out which you are. 

BOOKED a fancy festival? Convinced you’re the party animal of 20 years ago even though you’re sipping a Singapore sling in the poetry tent?