Lifestyle

STILL pretending London is wonderful and you’re glad you live here? In this weather? Convince no-one by claiming to enjoy these activities.

A BARBER has photos of outdated fades and awful styles in its window to attract customers.

PHOTOS of you from the past make everyone laugh because you look like a total idiot, it has been confirmed.

MUCH of daily life was invented as a bit of a joke and somehow we've bought it. Take these examples.

IF asked to recite the Live & Kicking phone-in number on pain of death, you’d blurt out ‘0181 811 8181’ in a second. Here are the utterly useless things you can easily recall.

HOLIDAYING abroad is a bewildering experience for patriotic Brits. Here dyed-in-the-wool xenophobe Roy Hobbs explains the bollocks you'll have to put up with from the weird locals.

HOLIDAYS are a time of rest, relaxation, and taking the same tedious photos as everyone else. Such as these.

INFLATION and the cost of living crisis means yet another staycation. Well-heeled couple the Muirs explain how to survive without a fortnight in Tuscany.

ONLY the most annoying people you know are in the position to buy a second home abroad, it has been confirmed.

THE summer’s here, clothes are skimpy, nobody’s around, you’ve initiated sex and wish you hadn’t. Here’s how to finish.