Lifestyle

Admiring your own lawn, and other middle aged warning signs

LIFE is funny. One minute, you’re young and carefree, the next you’re old. So how can you see middle age coming and avoid getting caught off-guard? Look for these warning signs.  

Sleeping in airports or holidaying in Wales: Which will be your summer?

POSTPONED flights and bedding down in Manchester Airport is a grim way to spend half-term, but the only alternative may be a holiday in Wales. Let’s weigh the pros and cons of each.

Neighbours who f**king hate each other holding Jubilee street party

A GROUP of neighbours who loathe one another are holding a Jubilee street party out of spite.

A canal barge, and other f**king stupid places to have a stag or hen party

DO you think 15 absolutely shitfaced people should be in charge of operating a lock? Then you’ll enjoy these stag and hen destinations.

F**king wasps, men in shorts, and other hot weather shit you forget about every year

LOOKING forward to the summer? You really shouldn't be. Here are a few reasons why hot days are actually the worst.

Man discovers he doesn't have the charisma for shaven head

A BALDING man has been left heartbroken after discovering he does not possess the raw masculine energy required to pull off the shaved-head look. 

£40 Waitrose gin and other Jubilee products that are taking the f**king piss

QUEENIE'S big celebration to mark 70 years on the throne throws up all sorts of opportunities to rip off people with more money than sense. Try these horribly overpriced items.

What those 'Live, Laugh, Love' signs would say if they were telling the truth

DOES a friend have a house full of pukey little signs saying things like ‘Family is where the heart is’? Here’s what they'd say if they were honest.

Even BMW drivers think Tesla drivers are arseholes

TESLA drivers are considered to be wankers even by BMW drivers, they have confirmed.

Five things you can get out of by blaming the cost-of-living crisis

THE cost-of-living crisis isn’t all bad news, except for the Tories. It’s a cast-iron excuse to get out of these obligations.