Lifestyle

THE biggest fashion faux pas is overthinking what you wear. Here are five sartorial rules only dickheads care about.

GOING on holiday? Need to book somewhere your kids will enjoy but you will find a waking nightmare? Try these destinations.

THINK how easy life would be if you didn’t feel the need to be even slightly tidy. Nikki Hollis, who ‘doesn’t see mess’, explains how to achieve this state of nirvana.

RAISED on the Famous Five’s long summers of sunshine, mouthwatering picnics and foiling a smuggling ring? How did it compare to your miserable reality?

BETTER than everyone else, but still using their grubby tradesmen’s idioms? Indulge in these middle-class rewrites instead.

A FATHER on an outing with his kids is beginning to worry after not shelling out a fortune on crap for several minutes.

ARE you an obnoxious middle class prick keen to be superior to your friends? Then take these to their picnic.

A BEE hotel hanging from a tree at the bottom of a garden has received a brutal review on Tripadvisor, it has emerged.

AFTER using a train bathroom, a male passenger is bitterly lamenting his decision not to sit down to piss.

PRESIDENT Erdoğan of Turkey is such a masculine boss man that he made Putin wait 50 seconds before shaking his hand. What other tiny-penised power moves could he have used?