Lifestyle

IF you’re trying to buy a plain t-shirt from the shops these days, you’re f**ked. Here’s the type of bizarre nonsense that seems to be emblazoned across all of them:

LOOKING for a budget holiday this year? Here are five places you hypothetically could fly to on the cheap, but f**k knows why you’d want to.

THE economy is once again hurtling towards recession, so how will having f**k all cash impact on your spending habits? Find out with our guide.

DO you think an Englishman’s home is his castle? If so you may well be a wanker who adds stupid, self-important accessories to your dwelling. Like these.

YOU’VE got an enviable lifestyle, but are you rubbing other people’s noses in it enough? Forget Porsches and designer clothes, the real status symbols are these bourgeois kitchen accessories.

THINK you’re about to embark on a delightful holiday with your lovely family? You aren’t. Here are six ways your kids will f**k it up.

MOST neighbours are a bit strange, but some are absolutely crackers. Here are the surefire signs the folks next door have lost their tiny minds.

GOING on holiday in the UK? Here are five dream destinations people won’t shut up about but which you’ll find deeply underwhelming.

A BRISTOL stoner possesses the uncanny skill of being able to turn any object he encounters into a bong.

ARE you a weird killjoy not bothered about football, even though you’re a woman? Endure the next 72 hours of rolling Lionesses coverage with these tips.