A TEENAGE girl has discovered she has the superhuman ability to completely f**k up a family holiday for everyone else involved.
Hannah Tomlinson, aged 13, first exercised her incredible new power on the third day of a fortnight’s trip to Majorca and was astonished to find that she, single-handed, could effortlessly ruin it for four other people.
She said: “Dad said that we’d spent yesterday on the beach so we had to do some medieval castle bullshit, and it was like it awoke a great sleeping giant within me as I screamed ‘f**k off’.
“He still made us, but I trudged there muttering, tripped and cut my foot and cried, said my life may as well be over and it was all their fault, and it was incredible. My dad, my mum, both brothers: all stunned into silence, not one of them able to extract any enjoyment.
“I thought it was a one-off, but then I came down to the hotel buffet the next morning and once again found my strange new ability rising within me, devastating the whole family as I said, without warning, ‘I’m vegan’.
“It happened every day after that. I barely even had to try. All I had to do was get sunburned, lose my phone, get a spot or find them all boring and the whole thing was ruined.
“It’s like being one of the X-Men, but my superpower is spreading misery, disappointment and costing my parents £4,500 for a holiday they hated. I can’t wait to see what it does in future.”
