Lifestyle

WANT to make the queue you’re standing in move faster? Here are five tactics that won’t make a blind bit of difference but will make sure everyone else knows you’re a dickhead.

NOT content with reclining in the passenger seat while someone else does all the work? Here’s how to be so irritating they drive into a tree.

WAVERING about your commitment to having a hand shandy? Find out if the conditions are opportune with this guide.

IT’S supposedly normal to watch porn now, but you’d still prefer not to have a good old chat about it with your partner. Here are some issues you’d rather didn’t come up.

ARE you looking to fritter away your hard-earned cash on pointless, defective goods? Then you no doubt buy these stupid products, writes Northern father Bill McKay. 

STRANGELY, certain hobbies have never developed a female following. Here beer festival regular Martin Bishop lists some of the wonderful activities women are missing out on.

TEENAGERS are appropriating the things you loved and claiming they’re ‘vintage’ or ‘retro’. And it’s definitely just to make you feel geriatric. Here are their top olden-days picks.

NO matter how early you get up some bastard has always been up for a whole hour already, it has been confirmed.

READY for 48 blissful work-free hours, only for your mood to crash on realising the implications of the seemingly-innocent phrase you’ve just heard?

YOUR partner's boxes of crap should be chucked to free up space in the loft, whereas yours must be kept and treasured. Here's why.