Lifestyle

THE world is full of needlessly cheerful dickheads making provably false statements that piss everyone off. But which one are you?

A FATHER of young children has said what he would really like for Father’s Day is some f**king peace in an empty house.

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are amazed at how much extra money they have after stopping meals out, theatre trips and citybreaks while still being paid high salaries in stable jobs.

HAPPY birthday to my darling boy!  You won’t actually see this because you can’t read and aren’t on social media on account of being a toddler.

MANY people are turning to e-scooters as an alternative mode of transport, with the only downside that they look like stupid twats who get in everyone's way. Here are five ways to look less idiotic on your overpriced adult toy-mobile.

PEOPLE who wear three quarter length trousers admit it would be better if their shins were not exposed all the time.

A WOMAN has somehow baked a loaf of bread without banging on about it all over the internet.

A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted.

IT’S sunny, so ignore coronavirus completely and get yourself down to the nearest crowded seaside town. Here’s how to be as irresponsible as possible.

HAVE you got weird, disgusting habits and share a flat? Simply add one point for each of these activities and find out if other people are slagging you off to their mates.