Lifestyle

ARE you using a communal garden during lockdown? Here’s how to behave as if it belongs to you personally and f**k everyone else.

RULES needn’t be a hassle if, like Dominic Cummings, you use your ingenuity. Here’s how to interpret them in a way that’s right for you.

THESE long weeks of house arrest have turned most of us into an even worse version of ourselves. In what ways have you become more of an arsehole than you already were?

BRITONS are returning to wholesome pursuits such as listening to owls hoot and sewing quilts with the enthusiasm of people who have given up on the idea of fun.

A MUM has realised that she has somehow become a PA to her eight-year-old daughter during lockdown.

THE coronavirus has confirmed that three months in London is more than enough and it is moving somewhere else for a better quality of life.

A FAMILY that decided to go to the seaside for the first time in years were quickly reminded that Britain's coastal towns are dilapidated shitholes.

LEAVE-VOTING Britons are horrified at the prospect of vacationing in their own country instead of their first choice, Europe.

MEN are apparently less likely to wear a face mask because it’s seen as a sign of weakness. Here’s how to wear one in a super-butch masculine way.

THE thought of driving her children to school again is terrifying a woman more than the coronavirus.