Lifestyle

THE parents of a 29-year-old man who moved back home for lockdown have realised he has no plans to move out after lockdown.

WORRIED your pampered liberal lifestyle won’t survive the pandemic? What are the questions sending your anxiety through the roof?

A WOMAN'S make up-free lockdown regime has revealed that her previous facial contouring efforts were the only reason she appeared to have three dimensions.

BRITISH people are desperately trying to remember how to dress their hideous bodies in fabric tubes called clothes.

AS lockdown continues, you wish you were anywhere but home. What dreadful places might you be this weekend if you were unlucky enough to regain your freedom?

A NEIGHBOUR is playing Coldplay at full blast in his garden just as if the whole street were not at home with the windows open, unable to escape.

A WOMAN about to have her first virtual date has realised that she cannot remember how to do that make-up thing she used to do.

THE government has announced that from today, an exception to lockdown and social distancing rules will be made for anyone seriously gagging for it.

THE coronavirus has altered lifestyles so drastically that sitting around in a grubby bathrobe eating cake all day is now de rigueur. But how else will lockdown shape the hot trends for this summer?

FAMILIES who have been smugly enjoying their outdoor space are just as f**ked as the rest of Britain as soon as the weather is bad.