Lifestyle

HAPPY birthday to my darling boy!  You won’t actually see this because you can’t read and aren’t on social media on account of being a toddler.

MANY people are turning to e-scooters as an alternative mode of transport, with the only downside that they look like stupid twats who get in everyone's way. Here are five ways to look less idiotic on your overpriced adult toy-mobile.

PEOPLE who wear three quarter length trousers admit it would be better if their shins were not exposed all the time.

A WOMAN has somehow baked a loaf of bread without banging on about it all over the internet.

A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted.

IT’S sunny, so ignore coronavirus completely and get yourself down to the nearest crowded seaside town. Here’s how to be as irresponsible as possible.

HAVE you got weird, disgusting habits and share a flat? Simply add one point for each of these activities and find out if other people are slagging you off to their mates. 

CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit.

DO you make friends and family feel guilty by always sending birthday and thank you cards? Try being even more irritating.

AS OF this morning, residents of England can go for that barbecue in Uncle Brian’s garden they’ve been thirsting for. What other horrific activities can we no longer avoid?