Lifestyle

DO you fancy a toot of coke to liven up a party but have no idea how to purchase anything stronger than paracetamol? Here’s what to do.

KIDS have any number of things to entertain themselves with, but they’ll come back to the same tedious obsessions until you never want to see a T-Rex again. Here are some of them. 

TWENTY grown men are irrationally continuing monthly payments towards a stag do they know will be f**king horrific.

NORTHERNERS have pleaded with the government not to force them to go out on the lash in the Midlands. 

A MAN has admitted that, although his evenings are the most precious moments of his day, he just cannot be f**ked doing anything with them.

A CAT that refuses to eat dry food appears to have no qualms about enthusiastically licking its own anus.

A MAN who spent a fortune on a top-of-the-range outdoor jacuzzi insists on shoehorning it into every interaction.  

NEED to make everyone around you lose the will to live? Infuriating toddler James Bates explains how to push people over the edge.

THERE’S no point being middle class unless you’re able to out-do everyone else. Keep ahead of the Joneses with these entitled evening classes.

PEOPLE change, and one day you wake up, look in the mirror and realise you’ve become exactly what you despise. Here are the key signs.