International

INDEPENDENCE could leave Scotland exactly the same in every way, experts warned last night.

FRANCE has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be ruled by a bastard of unparalleled magnificence.

In this comfortingly plausible account, THE DAILY MASH imagines the day the Mail invaded the Falklands.

APOCALYPSE facilitator Kim Jong Un will start his new job as soon as IT has helped him login to his work computer.

KIM Jong-Il's fatal heart attack is to be executed by firing squad, it has been confirmed.

THE people of France have been left shocked by the complete absence of shock they feel at former president Jacques Chirac being found guilty of embezzlement.

THREE days after the exploding Euro-summit, everyone is still pretending that they know what is going to happen.

THE result of Russia's parliamentary election was decided two weeks ago and then locked in a safe to prevent corruption.

THE 'Arab Spring' is a mistranslation, it has emerged.

ITALY'S new prime minister has begun the deskankification of the country's politics.