International

US intellectual Glenn Beck has been urged to keep up the pressure on the victims of the Norway massacre.

GREECE is to be renamed 'Olympikenstaat' following Germany's first successful invasion of the country for more than 70 years.

THE self-help industry has air dropped thousands of books on Ethiopia so that drought victims can manifest abundance from the universe.

A NEW statue of Ronald Reagan will depict the late president forgetting one of the illegal things he did.

MICHELLE Bachmann has launched her presidential campaign with the ritual machine-gunning of a pig.

EVERYONE in Britain is to receive part of a Greek person in exchange for large amounts of cash.

POLICE in Texas are to draw up a list of certified psychic visionaries after a supernatural tip-off turned out to be a waste of time.

CHINA'S plans for world domination now include the relentless purchase of all physical assets, your total, crushing enslavement and having a sneaky peek at your email account.

DENMARK may as well have kicked your lovely old grandmother right in the teeth, it emerged last night.

PRESIDENT Obama last night thanked the Queen for laying on the sort of ceremonial bullshit that harks back to the empire that crushed his beautiful African ancestors.