International

Putin's Olympics tickets on eBay

TICKETS for the London 2012 Olympics belonging to Russian president Vladimir Putin are available for purchase on eBay.

Annan decks Assad

KOFI Annan has floored Syria's President Bashar al-Assad with a single blow.

France surrenders to Thor

PRESIDENT Francois Hollande has confirmed France’s unconditional surrender to the Norse god of thunder.

Greeks apologise with huge horse

THE nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.

Al Qaeda 'getting its ideas from Viz'

AN underpants-based terror plot has fuelled speculation that Al Quaeda is being inspired by adult humour comic Viz.

Putin unveils enormous middle digit

VLADIMIR Putin has erected a 100­ft bronze flipped finger in the middle of Red Square.

French presidential candidates begin smoke-­off

PRESIDENT Nicolas Sarkozy and challenger Francois Hollande have commenced the long smoke­-off that will decide France's new leader.

France is basically Hitler, agrees everyone

FRANCE has once again proved itself to be exactly the same as Adolf Hitler, everyone agreed last night.

Berlusconi parties a bit vanilla

THE parties held by penis-wielding former premier Silvio Berlusconi have shocked Italy with their lack of imagination.

North Korean rocket launch footage 'best ever You've Been Framed clip'

HILARIOUS video of the botched North Korean rocket test has fallen into the hands of Harry Hill, it has emerged.