International

GIVING up smoking has put Barack Obama in the mood to launch a few warheads, it emerged last night.

GEORGE Papandreou may be trying to con Europe with the short grift, experts have claimed.

GREECE was condemned last night for punching a nice horse right in its face.

EUROZONE leaders have agreed a landmark deal to save the single currency after the German chancellor said she was feeling a bit 'Fourth Reichy'.

THE European Union is close to agreeing a deal to save the single currency with a fresh injection of 200 billion opinions into the thinking system.

COLONEL Gaddafi may have been killed by a bullet that entered a part of his body, the new Libyan government has confirmed.

VICTORIOUS rebel leaders have installed former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen as Libya's interim lunatic, it has been announced.

AS Libyans battle for their bright new dawn concerns were being raised that a new regime could charge more for car juice.

COLONEL Gaddafi has asked Tony Blair if he can stay in his guest room for a while.

MUSCULAR homosexual Russian men have been giving free titillating car washes in support of their beloved Vladimir Putin.