International
Young Conservatives planning something horrible
YOUNG Conservatives are planning to mark the death of Nelson Mandela with something vile.
Ecuador to breed endangered nerds
ECUADOR last night took a major step forward in its plan to breed pasty-faced nerds in captivity.
Turkish protestors threaten to deploy drunk Britons
PROTESTORS in Turkey have threatened to utilise drunk Britons against government forces.
NSA admits it created internet so it could spy on it
THE US National Security Agency has revealed it created the internet after realising it would make spying a much easier job.
Mandela and Prince Philip exchange sarcastic 'get well soon' cards
NELSON Mandela and Prince Philip have sent each other 'get well' messages dripping with poisonous sarcasm.
Game of Thrones-themed wedding ends in spectacular bloodshed
THE wedding of Napster founder Sean Parker ended with numerous fatalities after guests misunderstood its Game of Thrones theme.
Just don't make me go back to that shop, says Ikea monkey
THE monkey found in Ikea has issued a heartfelt plea not to be sent back there.