International
SEBASTIAN Coe has urged the government to start annexing small defenceless countries to boost Team GB’s medal hopes.
NORTH Korea has laughed off the mix-up which saw the South Korean flag accompany their women’s football team’s arrival at Glasgow’s Hampden Stadium.
BRITAIN is to simultaneously help both sides in Syria's bloody civil war, it has emerged.
THE People's Republic of China has announced plans for its entire female population to become astronauts.
TICKETS for the London 2012 Olympics belonging to Russian president Vladimir Putin are available for purchase on eBay.
KOFI Annan has floored Syria's President Bashar al-Assad with a single blow.
PRESIDENT Francois Hollande has confirmed France’s unconditional surrender to the Norse god of thunder.
THE nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.
AN underpants-based terror plot has fuelled speculation that Al Quaeda is being inspired by adult humour comic Viz.
VLADIMIR Putin has erected a 100ft bronze flipped finger in the middle of Red Square.