International

THE USA is paying tribute to Will Smith and the heroes who fought back the alien invasion of 1996.

FLORIDA’S dolphin-pimping businesses are enjoying a record-breaking summer.

FORMER prime minister Tony Blair has submitted his CV to the newly-declared Islamic Caliphate in the Middle East.

PRIMARK has denied its clothes are made in sweatshops in a statement sewn in sequins on a cardigan made in Bangladesh.

MARK Zuckerberg has sacrificed himself to make Facebook work again.

SCOTTISH National Party leader Alex Salmond has accused JK Rowling of casting demonic mind-spells.

THE utterly hellish argument about what happens to Scotland still has another 100 days to go, it has been confirmed.

THE People's Republic of China has marked the 25th anniversary of everyone having a pleasant, uneventful day out in Tiananmen Square.

SCOTTISH nationalists have reacted with fury after a Met Office study found the country’s weather was really quite unpleasant.

EDINBURGH'S tram service has finally opened after 400 years of planning.