International

A 21 year-old woman has managed to link every event of the last week to her backpacking trip to Thailand.

WIKILEAKS founder Julian Assange has told reporters at the Ecuadorian embassy that he is unchained like Django and to call him maybe.

A 12-foot Burmese python blamed for cat disappearances has been hailed as a hero by mice and rabbits.

SCOTLAND has welcomed a letter urging the country to reject independence, signed by a collection of fancy English celebrities.

ENGLISH viewers were unable to watch last night’s Scottish independence debate, including the moment Alex Salmond tried to bite Alistair Darling on the face.

EUROPE has ended the argument about whether British or German holidaymakers are the worst by confirming that they both are.

ISRAEL has reached out to Palestinians with the offer of a ceasefire lasting almost nine seconds.

NORTHERN Ireland’s marching season is to be transformed into a series of pleasant strolls.

A MASSIVE dome full of the horrible things that twats like is to be built in Dubai.

BLOW jobs are an official unit of currency in Magaluf, it has emerged.