International

Family’s excitement at getting on ferry rapidly fades

BEING on a ferry is f**king boring, a strike-hit British family has discovered.

Grexit could cause depression, war, famine and disruption to British holidays

GREECE leaving the euro could cause a continent-wide depression and stop Britons getting the exact beer they want on holiday, it has emerged.

Greece declared fictional

GREECE is not a real place and its debts were just a dream all along, it has been agreed.

Naked climbers sentenced to four months in a volcano

THE climbers who stripped naked at the top of Mount Kinabalu have been sentenced to four months inside its 800°C crater.

We’re still very nasty, says Al-Qaeda

AL-QAEDA chiefs admit they have slipped well below ISIS in the world’s evil league table.

Countries whose names don't work with '-exit' barred from leaving EU

BRITAIN has been cleared to leave the EU because Brexit is perfectly usable while other countries have been permanently barred.

Cameron excluded from cool G7 clique

THE most popular and good-looking leaders have formed a clique at the G7 summit without David Cameron.

Greece postpones financial collapse of Europe until end of month

GREECE has told the IMF to enjoy the sunshine for another 25 days until the end of everything.

Blair to turn anti-extremist group into pragmatic, extremist-friendly brand

TONY Blair has pledged to transform an anti-extremist organisation into ‘a brand that extremists can trust’.

Clegg bans Putin from Sheffield Hallam

FORMER deputy prime minister Nick Clegg has warned Vladimir Putin not to enter Sheffield Hallam.