International

CLOSE examination of the Bible has revealed  it was 'Adam and Steve' in the Garden of Eden the whole time.

COUNTRIES must give back anything they bought with foreign aid from the UK, mean-spirited Britons have demanded.

VLADIMIR Putin has such kind eyes that it is impossible to imagine him doing anything unpleasant, according to the public.

A MIDDLE CLASS family has booked a trip to Palmyra in Syria to see the historical site before the crowds.

HOSTAGES aboard the hijacked EgyptAir plane assumed 'selfie man' was planning a heroic act, it has emerged.

ISIS has tried and failed to issue a scary-sounding statement.

DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.

DONALD Trump has chosen a character from the 1993 film Demolition Man to be his vice presidential running mate.

SNAKES across the world are celebrating the day St Patrick drove them out of Ireland to live in lovely hot countries.

THE people of Scotland have admitted to the secret love they have for the English.