International

BRITISH citizens living on the Costa del Sol are now more Spanish than the Spaniards themselves, they have confirmed.

DONALD Trump has told America that he is actually an enormous eagle with red-and-white striped wings.

THE UK can get free access to the single market without any concessions on freedom of movement, according to a man with no idea what ‘negotiating’ means.

THE last politician who supported Britain leaving the EU has left Britain, it was confirmed today.

THE European Union has praised Britain for the calm, efficient way it has dealt with the aftermath of the referendum.

SCOTLAND has thanked the rest of the UK for the good times on its way out.

ICELANDIC singer Bjork is flying to France to kick Cristiano Ronaldo’s arse, police have confirmed.

PEOPLE of different races, creeds and sexual orientations all think Donald Trump is a f**ker, it has emerged.

THE next president of America will be either partially or completely insane, it has been confirmed.

BUILDING the longest tunnel in the world proves that Switzerland is a sexy and desirable nation, says the country’s president.