International

ADORABLE scallywag Prince George has been melting hearts in Canada by threatening to execute everyone.

DONALD Trump has apologised for his son’s ‘reckless and confusing’ use of non-literal communication in his presidential campaign.

THERESA May has persuaded US business leaders not to ignore the UK by begging pathetically.

DONALD Trump is in fine, thin-crust-loving shape, according to Dr Oetker.

US PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hillary Clinton has confirmed that she originally died in 2004, and has returned many times since.

HILLARY Clinton’s illness and Donald Trump’s improving poll ratings have led to a global upsurge in thinking happy thoughts about lovely things.

AUSTRALIA is the perfect trading partner for Britain due to being on the other side of the world, UK residents agree.

EVERYONE at the G20 summit finds Brexit hilarious, Theresa May has confirmed.

DONALD Trump is refusing to return from Mexico after discovering how much better it is than America.

BEASTLY common people in Magaluf are simply horrid, it has been claimed.