International

DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.

DONALD Trump has chosen a character from the 1993 film Demolition Man to be his vice presidential running mate.

SNAKES across the world are celebrating the day St Patrick drove them out of Ireland to live in lovely hot countries.

THE people of Scotland have admitted to the secret love they have for the English.

THE prime minister has admitted feeling bereft after criticism by his only black friend, President Obama.

THE French language just makes threats sound alluring or delicious, it has been confirmed.

AMERICA’S elections have entered their umpteenth day of tedious self-indulgence with some more pointless bullshit.

THE leader of the Night’s Watch has joined the campaign to end Westeros's economic union with neighbouring Essos.

BREXIT is receiving record backing from the public after being rebranded as Bring Back Duty Free.

IAIN Duncan Smith has warned that Britain faces risk from winged, fiery death by remaining in the EU.