International

AFTER claiming the US election is rigged, Donald Trump has given a lengthy slideshow presentation about UFOs and lizard aliens.

HILLARY Clinton should have smiled more during her speech, according to a man who may now vote for a demented orange clown instead.

ENGLISH people who keep taking the piss out of Scotland are also baffled as to why the country might want independence.

FRANCE hates foreigners and thinks it is better than neighbouring countries, it has been claimed.

BRITISH citizens living on the Costa del Sol are now more Spanish than the Spaniards themselves, they have confirmed.

DONALD Trump has told America that he is actually an enormous eagle with red-and-white striped wings.

THE UK can get free access to the single market without any concessions on freedom of movement, according to a man with no idea what ‘negotiating’ means.

THE last politician who supported Britain leaving the EU has left Britain, it was confirmed today.

THE European Union has praised Britain for the calm, efficient way it has dealt with the aftermath of the referendum.

SCOTLAND has thanked the rest of the UK for the good times on its way out.