International

PRESIDENT Hillary Clinton in a parallel timeline is facing impeachment and criminal charges for wearing ugly shoes.

THE President of the United States has managed to get through an entire speech without saying anything explicitly dangerous or obviously insane. 

DONALD Trump is currently hiding from the media as if he owes them two months’ rent money, it has been confirmed.

DONALD Trump’s closest adviser is a small boy who is the biggest bullshitter in his school, it has emerged.

A DESPERATE, blithering fuck-up has demanded the media accurately report how unbelievably fantastic it is.

PEOPLE looking for a new leader of the western world are eyeing up Justin Trudeau and Angela Merkel and dismissing Theresa May without a second thought.

DONALD Trump has been asking his aides who Richard Nixon is and why he is famous.

FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya. 

TRUMP advisor Steve Bannon begins his day by invoking powers of ancient evil, it has emerged.

DONALD Trump has banned all Sylvanians from entering America, even the really cute ones.