International

PRESIDENT-ELECT Donald Trump has confirmed plans to deport 318 million non-Native American immigrants.

NIGEL Farage will be Donald Trump’s high powered ‘go-between’ whenever the new president wants to eat some pizza.

A DONALD Trump supporter has acknowledged the president-elect’s call for national unity before registering the domain name for a white supremacist website.

A TRUMP supporter has voted to make the government stop ignoring him and completely screw him over instead.

MARIJUANA is now legal in 28 states of the US to help them through every difficult day of the next four years.

BARACK Obama has admitted he was born in Kenya and 'you can all go fuck yourselves'.

DONALD Trump is bored of politics and wants to do something else now.

THE USA was so unready to have a woman as president that it would vote for literally anyone else instead, it has been confirmed.

A SMILING president-elect Donald Trump has instructed aides to ‘get them’.

BRITAIN has woken up relieved to find its idiotic act of self-harm earlier this year is now a piffling historical footnote.