Why does everyone keep dying on me?

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive

stories and a free Mash book for

Annual and Lifetime

$5 / Month Less than a pint in a Middlesbrough Wetherspoons
  • Most flexible option
  • Cancel any time
$50 / Year Better value and makes you superior
  • Save 17% per year
$300 Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off
  • Pay once and that's it

Already a member? Sign in

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Audiences surprised to discover Dune: Part Two is a musical

AUDIENCES at last night’s Dune: Part Two premiere were astonished to learn the gritty sci-fi sequel is in fact a musical.

Unlike the first instalment which was a broadly faithful adaptation of Frank Herbert’s classic novel, Dune: Part Two followed the latest Hollywood trend of sneaking in an unnecessary musical number every 15 minutes.

Film critic Martin Bishop said: “I was ready to pick up where the last film left off and watch Paul and the Fremen bring peace to Arrakis. So imagine my surprise when everyone started to recap the plot via a samba.

“Admittedly I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know if this is taking liberties with the source material. But I find it hard to believe that sandworms were attracted by a beatboxing Chani or that the House of Atreides was avenged with a rap battle. It wouldn’t really work on the page.”

Premiere attendee Nikki Hollis said: “In retrospect, the Ice Spice cameo feels inevitable. But that doesn’t mean I appreciate it.

“First Wonka then Mean Girls, now this. Why can’t Warner Bros give people what they want? A punishingly bleak sci-fi epic that makes you feel every gruelling second of its unending runtime. That shit gets bums on seats.

“Although admittedly the cast’s performance of Sandstorm by Darude sounded amazing coming out of the cinema speakers as the credits started to roll. Worth the ticket price alone.”