AN electoral expert with a mortgage to pay has claimed two by-election wins with huge swings is a very worrying result for Labour.
Denys Finch Hatton, who needs to make some f**king bank this year, believes the second-biggest fall in the Conservative vote in the post-war period is proof the general election will be tight and his services should not be dispensed with just yet.
He said: “Seeing this as a done deal for Starmer would be very short-sighted. A lot could still happen. This dog ain’t dead yet.
“For example, I could say things about voter turnout, or Reform UK, or stuff like that thing I’ve already said about the second-biggest fall in post-war votes. That was pretty good. You’re not going to come up with that on your own.
“Statements like ‘the Tories don’t have a chance’ or ‘Labour have got this in the bag, turn off the swingometer and go home, mate’ don’t comprehend the half of it. Actually at this stage anything could happen. Rishi hasn’t unveiled his crappy little tax cuts yet.
“And people aren’t that into Starmer. They’re not wearing Starmer T-shirts or anything. There’s a marked lack of enthusiasm for Labour I’m willing to discuss at length. Please.”
Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer said: “Look at this face. Do I come across to you as someone who does now or has ever given a f**k about enthusiasm?”
